Super Powers

I’m not saying that everyone’s done it, but If you’re like me, you’ve spent some time thinking about the “super power” you’d like to have.  Sure, I’d like to be Superman, but somewhere in the rules that I’ve made up in my head, you’re not allowed to pick those super powers. They’re the benchmark and off the table.

That said, I’ve given it some thought over the years and unexpectedly this morning I picked mine. Out of nowhere this jerk cut me off in traffic. He rushed up behind me and cut into my lane with such force and disregard that when the shock passed it was replaced with uncontrollable hatred. As he continued zigzagging up two lanes into the distance marked by a string of flashing red tail lights it came to me. If I could stare hard enough to do it, I’d blow this guy and his car up – right off the highway. Ka-boom! And that was it. My super power. Blowing up cars driven by selfish idiots. Almost immediately, my higher self interceded and I knew I’d better set some limits or risk the support of adoring commuters. If I wasn’t careful, I might eventually use my powers for personal gain (Damn, I’m late, I better blow some people up!) instead of for the greater good of the driving public. (Did I mention that I’m delusional?)

So here are the rules I set for myself:
Rule #1: I could only blow up one driver a day. (See above.)
Rule #2: I couldn’t kill anyone, but it would hurt really bad, like a head-to-toe ice cream headache. It would last like an hour.
Rule #3: Their car would be destroyed. It would not be available again, ever. And they’d either have to walk home in humiliation – after an hour (See Rule #2) or call for a ride.

The big question now is one of good or evil. As with most things, my status in the hero-world is one of perspective. To some I’m the good guy, to others the villain. In this case, it’s where you are – behind me or in front of me.  It’s all so subjective. BOOM.

phone taped to head

I shot this photo as a passenger in our production van while traveling back from a location shoot.  Seriously.  The gentleman in this picture has a cell phone attached to his head using packing tape.  This would be a great example of the day after I blew him up with my super powers for inconsiderate driving while talking on his cell.  Thanks to me, he is now “hands free” and attentive.  The truck is not his.

What would your super power be?


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